Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
