Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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