There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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