We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The uberlube is also flammable
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
