Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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