the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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