Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
