He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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