No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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