i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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