youre lurking in front of me
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize