do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
