Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.