You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.