do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.