can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list