So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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