Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
