i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
