he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
