Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
