just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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