I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
