he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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