just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
