I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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