No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
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