in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
