I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
