as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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