I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
