She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
