No stitches, just platelets and will power
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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