nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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