I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
