He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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