I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
