Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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