My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
