a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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