During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
