I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
