your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
