Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
