It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
