a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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