so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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