My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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