If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
