I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
