i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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