You really coming over, don't trick.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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