Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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