Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
