He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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