He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
