Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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