i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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