I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
