Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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