i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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