White coat. Heels.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
