Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
