Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
