what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
