Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Less talking, more tequila
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
