I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
