Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
