Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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